No More Rules. Just Do Stuff!
Why are we obsessed with challenges?
You've (unfortunately) seen them everywhere:
75 Hard
Winter Arc
Lock-In Season
Must we adhere ourselves to these strict sets of rules in order to make progress? And here's another thing that's bugging me:
What's the point of participating in a stringent challenge if it isn't sustainable, or something you're going to carry with you afterward?
Is it a punishment? Do we just want to make ourselves feel bad?
That Was an Exaggeration
Okay, I was being a bit facetious earlier. I know why people gravitate toward these challenges. It's so they can prove to themselves that they have ~discipline~, the coveted, out-of-reach characteristic that separates the "successful" from everyone else.
"Anyone can be motivated," they say, "but discipline is what matters."
I have tried the 75 Hard thing before. I’ve attempted this grand display of picture-perfect, Instagrammable “progress,” and all it left me with was a feeling of duress.
I miss a day, I skip a workout, I land just shy of that shining 10K steps, and then I f*cking quit. I get so angry at myself that I assume that I’m just not capable. Why even try?
Now, this is obviously a me issue, but this is also my newsletter. So.
I just find all of these challenges to be a bit… overdone? Restrictive? Dare I say: Lame?
Especially when they involve depriving yourself of anything that tastes remotely good and/or isolating yourself from the people you love so you can hit XYZ number of steps, words written, pieces of content filmed, etc.
We Can All Use A Little Personal Development, Though
Look, if we're going to put ourselves into self-imposed constraints anyway (and let's be honest, we probably are), here are a few ways I'm trying to actually improve my life without turning it into a military boot camp:
1. Start Interrogating Your Opinions
Why do you believe the things that you believe? Did you think you wanted that new thing, or to try that new place, or to work on that new project before you saw some random influencer-guru-person talk about it?
Now, I don’t know if you know what Orthorexia is, but I came to a near brush with it a few months into falling into some wellness-type spaces online. I started obsessively reading labels, looking stuff up using this dumb ingredient-scanning app, etc.
But then I went home for a weekend and remembered: My parents have chain-smoked and drank their entire lives, are in their mid-sixties, and are relatively (knock on wood) fine.
That is to say: I had no reason to worry about my normal, balanced diet before consuming all of this BS content. I can eat a Poptart.
2. Fill Up Your Schedule (With FUN Stuff)
Ruminating in your apartment waiting for inspiration to strike simply isn’t going to cut it, especially not if you’re letting your inner creative starve.
While you’re busy using your multi-colored planner to list out all of the meetings and projects you have to tackle this week, take some time to intentionally schedule fun time.
This could look like a lot of things:
Try a new class or workshop in your area (I went to an improv one recently, 10/10)
Set up a lunch or coffee date with a friend who you keep “swearing” you’ll see soon
Host something! Have some people over and do some kind of themed party
Literally anything. There are no rules, except for that there are no rules. (That’s the rule.)
3. Read Something (Anything!)
This one is terribly, terribly important.
You don’t have to feel pressured to pick up a nonfiction book, or some kind of self-help nonsense. Read something because you always thought this topic was strange or weird or gross or intriguing. Read it because fantasy was your favorite genre as a child and you haven’t given yourself permission to pick up a “silly” novel in ten years.
(P.S. This newsletter does NOT count, cheater!)
Have fun! Dress up! Be more loudly yourself!
Rigid challenges thrive because they give us clear rules in a chaotic world. They promise transformation if we just follow the steps. But they also conveniently ignore the fact that real growth is messy, non-linear, and doesn’t look good in a before-and-after post.
You don’t need permission from some internet challenge to start living differently. You don’t need to punish yourself into becoming someone worthy of your own life.
So yeah, go ahead and set goals. Make changes. But do it because it genuinely makes you feel more like yourself, not because you’re trying to become someone else’s idea of disciplined.